A teenager is a person who is thirteen or older. Hence the name "Teen-ager. Children under the age of thirteen shouldn’t even consider dating; even though children do have the odd crush, but most think the opposite sex have cooties. It is when a teenager goes to secondary school that things get serious. Although it might be the odd crush here or there until the age of fifteen or sixteen, after that dating becomes serious for teenagers.
Their bodies will have gone through all of the teenage changes like puberty. It may not be acceptable in some families for a teenager of this age to date, more so if the family is very religious. Teenagers are often easy to be read when it comes down to dating, for they start to take more notice of their appearance and clothing, with girls beginning to wear makeup, and boys beginning to shower without being told.
By the age of fifteen or sixteen, most parents would have had the birds and the bees talk with the teenagers, even though they probably know most of it already. Most parents believe that school work should come first and dating later. Parents should express their concerns to teenagers as to what they believe to be the ideal age for dating. If you are a parent, then try not to be too harsh or strict about your teenager having a boyfriend or girlfriend, as this is likely to lead them to going behind your back and doing what they like.
If you are the teenager, meet your parents half way. Make sure that your school work is up to scratch, you stay on top of your home work before you go out on dates, stick to rules like what time you should be in, and be sure to tell them where you are going. That way they would have no reason to complain. In short, according to what we have analyzed in this chapter, the average dating age is around fifteen or sixteen, and some parents may not find this age suitable for dating.
So, Are You Ready To Start Dating?
Are you aware of what you are getting into when you start dating again?
Can you handle the equivalent emotional trauma of rejection that equals or exceeds the pain of a break? Will rejection positively convince you that you must be a defective junk person?
Do you know what works and what does not work in dating? Can you adjust to casual dating several people and not "owning anyone"?
Can you readily handle the following sort of thing happening to you when you start going out or will you be emotionally distraught?
1. You attend 2 singles dances and no one ever asks you to dance or if a man, you ask 5 women to dance and all say no.
2. You go to a singles party and no one talks to you.
3. You date someone twice, everything is great or sensational and then they will not call you back or you never hear from them.
4. Five people take your phone number and not one ever calls. Or if you are a man, you call 5 women who gave you phone numbers and they do not call you back when you leave your number or they are always "busy" when you suggest doing something together.
5. You date someone several times and everything seemed to be great. You really, really liked them, you send them a big bouquet of flowers and they stop seeing you. Will not return your phone calls, are always busy etc.
6. You date 5 people one time each, and you never hear from any of them again, or they do not return your phone calls etc..
7. You date someone several times in a month. You really looked forward to seeing them again and they end it. You find someone else and date them for a month and they end it. Neither will tell you why.
8. You meet and date someone for a month, which you absolutely fall madly in love with. Everything is super, once in a lifetime relationship. They call you and tell you that they have decided you have nothing in common and end the relationship. Nothing you say or do will change it.
9. You date someone a few times and they fall madly in love with you. They insist on spending every waking moment with you. You decide you really do not have any interest in them. They send you gifts. They bug you constantly and will not leave you alone no matter what you tell them.
10. You have a big thing going with a new relationship and you are so sure it is going to last that you bring them home to meet your kids. You never hear from them again.
These are just some of the normal dating happenings you need to understand and be able to accept as it just comes with the territory.
For example, if you were knowledgeable about dating, you would have been aware that in number 5, your dating partner was not into a big commitment type relationship, that when you sent flowers they knew you were getting overly involved and they had to end the relationship. They really were not the one that ended the relationship, your unknowing inappropriate getting overly involved actions did.
We are not able to judge whether you are indeed ready to start dating, you will have to decide that. We have no test you can take.
We think you will need to first learn a lot about dating and gain experience, refurbish your overall outlook and develop realistic expectations. You will need to gain some experience with simple contacts and ease into it with mini dating, develop relationship skills by practising contacts with the opposite sex, all this before you can even expect to happily succeed in getting back into this Dating Again.